Monday, 4 June 2012

Politics and chemistry: Friends with benefits




Friends with benefits .Everyone knows what this means. Having that guy or girl at your disposal for no strings attached ‘fun’ .Just two friends having meaningless sex for mutual benefit. It seems like an easy equation on paper, your friends and your single why not do each other a favour. At first it seems like an utterly great idea, hey were both single, were mates how about it? What can possibly go wrong?


Truthfully In practice it can be lot harder than you think.


Firstly choose your partner in crime carefully, how good a friends are you? Could you bear to lose them as a friend should relations go sour? They might have been one of your best mates for years, but when emotions and sex get in the way you could be saying goodbye to a perfectly good friendship for the sake of a quick bunk up. Think closely about what the history between you is, if there are underlying issues between you .Weather it be baggage from a former relationship or emotion issues one of you is bringing to the bedroom. Casual sex isn't the time to be pouring you heart out post coital .In fact don't be  naive to think there is a post coital time in these relationships .


Before you even consider starting a sexual relationship without genuine romantic feelings, be sure to set out the ground rules, who calls who, when is it even appropriate or how often do you want to hook up ?. It can be hard to lose the preconceptions that are given in conventional relationships, there is no obligations to text call or even ask you how your day at work was. When your partner isn’t a close friend you see socially , don’t expect to see your lover any other time but for sex. If you start to text them sweet nothings or call them nightly then you’re not in the right kind of relationship. 


As much as we like to think were all super relaxed modern types who can separate love and sex, it might be lot harder than you think. If one party suddenly decides that they want more out of the situation than just sex, it can be heartbreaking when they are rejected by the unwilling party. It is true is biologically true that girls are wired to connect emotion to sex , more than men no matter how much we may deny it . Be clear from the outset that your friendship will never be the same again once you been their naked nether regions, everything will change from the moment you slip those pants off.

Ultimately don't go into the relationship expecting a happy fairytale ending , the chances are that your not Mila Kunis  or Natalie Portman in those terrible movies ,things could end badly and you have to be prepared to accept the possible consequences . The most important is to have fun ,don't take it too seriously ,for the love of god don't fall in love  and of course be safe ;)


Top tips for successful F.W.B ( I didn't say I was successful but I where I went wrong!)

1.)   If you’re the girl half, never seem desperate. It's not a boyfriend/girlfriend thing. No inane texting or calling . Keep it simple .
2.)   Avoid friends ex boyfriends / Lovers .It more hassle than it’s worth. Plus sharing is pretty gross.
3.) If you start to develop less than platonic feelings .Confess and move on ,save yourself the possible heartache.
4.)   If your not happy and start to feel used (any more than your are) end the relationship pronto. The relationship should be on equal terms


Happy sexytime !












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