Tales from the useless files : Learning to drive

This is inspired by emsipop's recent post about Learning to drive . This tale my friends is how not to learn to a drive and another disastrous tale in my life of being useless.

I first had driving lessons ,as soon I could at seventeen .It's safe say I wasn't a nature at it ,and went through three driving instructors in a very short time ,taking and failing my test three times .The Following incidents really happened on my tests.

• I'm about two mins into my first ever driving test ,a set of traffic ahead are green I proceeded as you would ..but no an elderly person on a mobility scooter darts out from the crowd of people at the crossing ,causing an emergency stop situation and immediate failure.To this day ,I say how was it my fault this person of advance years decided to dart out when it was red for pedestrians ?! Hey Hey?! Could have saved me a lot more money in driving lessons and tests ...and the next incident. 

• I'm not sure which number test this happened on ,I kind of blocked out the failures in the end .I would be get extremely nervous on tests ,I know everyone is nervous but I was beyond that.I would sweat and physically shake and probably wasn't in any state for being examined .So I am driving along nicely on this one ,when I was asked to pull up at the side and then off again .A simple part of the test you would think? Now when your learning to drive there is a awful lot of mirror use that your marked on.I was determined that I would look in my mirrors and behind me as much as possible .I basically ended up looking like the Churchill nodding dog .

I swung my head round in such an exaggerated fashion to prove to the examiner that I was looking behind me ..that I smashed my head straight into the closed window .Yes,I basically half concussed myself on a window ..during  my driving test .Needless to say this was ridiculously embarrassing ,even the examiner had a look that said " wow this is a bad one " .I was given several minutes to "calm down" at the side of the road and carry on .Would you believe I failed ? 

I ended up giving up learning to drive for around a year before I was persuaded to try again. I finally passed on my fourth attempt ,I could not believe it and did a cheesy jumping in the air with pass certificate in the test centre car park .It was one the happiest days of my life because it took me so long .I think it means more if you struggled and don't pass your test first time in five seconds flat.

Seven years on ,I am actually more of a nervous driver than I originally was but that is more do with a certain incident involving  a lorry and a scouser..but that's a story for another day!