Another Midnight ramble : How not to date someone.

It's very rare that I sleep before 1am these days , I just don't get tired or I find myself distracted without realising how late is it getting . So maybe a little life update or a bit of a ramble is in order ? 


So onto somewhat of an life update .It seems that I'm now single ,not that I ever really went as far as to clarify myself as not so ( ie facebook officialdom) . To be honest ,I've basically wanted this for for weeks and months and I haven't had the courage to just say " You're nasty ,please leave me" ( bonus prize for getting this talky bit of a song..) .I am single by silence ,if that is possible.Not a peep form either us for over a week now . Clearly loves young dream . The fact that I do not give one iota if I received any communication says it all really . As much as it is probably a bit silly to throw away any potential men at my age ,this one was all wrong . Here is why.


                     * THINGS NOT TO DO WHEN YOU WANT TO DATE THE LACEY ONE*


. Insist that I always travel a 2 hour ,3 train journey . Never visit yourself .
. Provide the sum total of a dry cheese sandwich during the duration of her stay.
. Not only ,never pay for anything but always expect Lacey to pay for everything.
. Meet her in a pub and don't bring your wallet .
. Text her the same message every morning . Template ?
. Insist that she walk everywhere .Carrying suitcase sized tote bag
. Never allow her to leave your room during said stay.Basically kidnap her.
. Introduce her to your friends as your girlfriend .When no discussion has taken place.
. Maintain massive mood swing all day when asked what was wrong , reply that your xbox annoyed you .
. Be utterly unequivocally the dumbest person I have ever meet.
.Disappear for a week at the time and then randomly message like it's normal.
.Be corny /cheesy 


I can't say that I am massively experienced in this field but even I know that is "relationship " was utter garbage .If I told you way I even meet him you would realise how utterly stupid and doomed it was from the start . What I've learnt is that despite being desperate for a long time and having this burning desire to join the ranks of the "smug marrieds " maybe I'm just not ready for it ? I am really am the most underdeveloped person of my age ( see how I tactfully avoid the true extent of age there ) .


I've learnt a lot about settling , before this I was sure I would settle for anyone who would have me . It didn't matter ,fat or stupid with two heads I'd have probably married you if you asked . Now I realise that I really am pretty intolerant , it is Mr right or no one at all now . This has been the first time that that coin as been flipped and I wasn't the one that seemed so madly in lust .I have practically spent the last five years falling from one person to another , never getting anything like the affection I wanted back and that is probably way I was willing to let the negatives slide but in the end even I couldn't look past all the things that annoyed , irritated and were just plain wrong . 


I am a girl , I want that feeling the pit of my stomach when I see them .I want to go weak at the knees ,to want to rip there clothes off there back!. When you've had that , it makes much harder to try and recreate it when it's just not there . How can anything match up to that feeling?  It can't ,you just can not fake it not matter how you try . Somewhere out there , there has to be someone who can do that for me? One that feels the same way ?