I don't think I've really considered the impact of writing this blog .Right about now it's a tiny corner of the internet read by absolutely no one at all .I am insignificant , unremarkable to even the people who know me in real life .I rarely give it a thought ,that my postings could one day be analysed .Nobody does even unless there particularly narcissistic or very successful. When Jeremy Forrest went missing with Megan Stammers last week I bet he didn't give a second thought about how the trail he'd left on the internet would be scrutinised .His lovestruck and really quite awful lyrics picked to pieces ,his blog posts deemed self absorbed . Every inch of his life and personality has been looked at with a fine tooth comb ,perhaps you think he deserved that for what he did. I certainly don't think his wife deserved to her wedding pictures splashed across the papers.
Blogging is a incredibly self absorbed idea anyway ,your writing about your thoughts ,your feelings as if you expect someone out their to care what you have too say .I struggle to get anyone in my real life to care enough ,so quite how I think the rest of world will care I don't know .
What would the press say about me? That I was lonely ,worried about my future .That I was once a bit promiscuous. The truth is the press can manipulative you into being anything that fits their chosen story. I've been following the Stammers & Forrest story quite a bit , he playing the part of the villain ,she the innocent school girl . Using a obviously out of date school photo doesn't fool me into thinking she was an unwilling accomplice . Forrest's supposed disturbing lyrics means nothing to me either.Who remembers these lyrics from about 10 years ago,I highly doubt any members of the band have now committed suicide.
Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
Suffocation
No breathing
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding
While I engaged in a lively debate about the the supposed abduction of Megan on a popular forum ,such was the vitriol flying around I didn't dare divulge my true feelings on the matter .Personally I think the idea that she was abducted is absolutely ridiculous , abduction is taken away against your will .People who are abducted get bound gagged and thrown in the back of cars ,they are not found happily strolling round cities in southern France taking photos and hugging their apparent captor . I totally gone off topic now ,it's funny now it's easy to express an opinion when no one is watching .We shouldn't be afraid of opinions ,those who aren't though get labelled mouthy and rude .It's best to just shut up and follow the general concensus most of the time. I very much doubt that the contents of his blog crossed Mr Forrest's mind as he crossed the channel with a 15 yr old .
I don't think most of realize what were leaving behind on the internet everyday .If were checking in everyday then everything is fine ,if our blog is obscure then it's fine .I find it quite a sobering thought that my messed up brain and all it neuroses could one day be exposed to world. I suppose the important thing then is remain anonymous ,to never get into trouble or create infamy for ourselves . I'm sure that many of us have blog post or diaries or simply facebook messages we'd rather the rest of the world didn't see.
We may see ourselves as one thing but rest of the world might view us differently all together.
