Procrastination situation.

Hello Imaginary friends , It's Monday evening but it just feels like Sunday because of the pesky bank holiday thrown in .I have "the fear " tonight ,that impending sense of doom when you haven't done a piece of work . After three years without  "the fear " invading my life ,it all too familiar .You know what I'm talking about , your mind starts thinking of all the ways you could either manage to a.) do said work b.) get out of handing it in.It usually involves telling yourself you'll get up at 6am ,or stay up all night too it .If it's really impossible, then you start concocting an illness that will prevent from handing it in . How Ill will have to be ? Time to wheel out those acting skills ,your going to need a sick voice.

It's always the same , it starts with telling yourself you'll do the work early this time .No panic for me this time you think .Then real life comes in ,everything else becomes more interesting ,including writing blog posts about not doing work ..

The number of times I would be up half the night doing pieces of coursework at uni ,because well everything about university was more interesting than the work .What's that you need someone to do a massive TESCO shop with you? sure! You want to go Ice skating? I'm in! There's an episode of neighbours I've already seen once today on? I might have missed something! I took procrastination to a skilled art form , making mini models of our kitchen appliances and giving them faces? That takes some beating..Life is endless round of procrastination ,if I thought it would end at uni I was a little naive.If it wasn't for procrastination I may well have taken over the world by now. I bet Barack Obama did all his essays two weeks early.

So now I will no doubt set my alarm for six am then fail to wake up till 8.30 shortly followed by panicking .Then spent roughly half an hour sitting at the dining table ,reading as fast as I possibly can and writing notes in semi English .Come one o'clock  I will arrive at my meeting having prepared a selection of sentences in my head which make it sound like I know what I'm talking about . Life people ,is an endless blag don't let anyone tell you otherwise .

The Sunday Ramble

Evening ,imaginary blog friends ( how ridiculous on a website called blogger that gets out the red line..) .I thought it was time for an update which was more on the cheerful side .I can be a bit a miser ,no wonder I'm lonely.I've had a rather average weekend ,no raving it up at Reading for me .In fact I've never even been to a festival at the grand old age of twenty six ,shameful no doubt .This evening though,I made a break through I've been trying for months .Since April I am been writing on and off ,I currently sit at 38,000 words .This is not a milestone though,no I have finally cracked a key moment in said "collection of words" that my brain had seemingly  refused to create in till now . This breakthrough means I can build so much more both before and after ,I am so pleased .I also downloaded some software which reads your work aloud ,so you tell if it sounds appalling .It's slightly feels like doing a huge piece of coursework but not being enrolled anywhere but I don't care I'm so invested in it .I will complete my challenge! 

Here are two photos that represent my 1st world poverty :

My dire need for a hair cut. The truth is I detest going to the hairdressers.All that looking at your own face and never getting what you actually asked for .Hence the cousin It look.






          
My bedside arrangement which consists of a broken £1.50 Ikea lamp and a stack of celebrity autobiographies .My favourite is Russell Brand Fyi .The 1st ,second one is all "I'm famous ..oo there's Katy Perry" Rubbish.

I wonder how celebrities manage to recall incidents from say twenty years ago with such detail .I can barely remember a thing prior to the age of sixteen .Either I have an awful memory or they making a lot of stuff up.The early stages of my biography would go something like this :

Born
Infant school 
Caterpillars everywhere 
Stuck Glue in a girls hair 
Spice girl dancing 
That time I had Yellow hair 

On Saturday I conducted a physic experiment to choose my lottery numbers .Semi convinced I might win ,I went online and created a somewhat over hopeful wishlist .So somewhere privately on the internet ,is a list of items that should I at some point in the future win the lottery ,I will immediately purchase .As was highly predictable I failed to get a single number on Saturday night's draw.Because I am unfathomably unlucky ,if I was remotely religious I may consider I'd done something heinous in a previous life. Unfortunately I can't blame God ,because he doesn't exist.

I think is quite enough of a ramble for a Sunday night .

Goodnight! 

Non-beauty girl lazy make up.

If like me you are a lazy cow and this is a frequent scenario :

Self : I'll Just watch this /go on youtube/ play facebook game for five minutes ..I've got hours..

*3 hours later *

Self : WAH ! Need to the leave house in 10 minutes and look like a corpse ! 

I'm not really a girl who likes to spend hours faffing with make up .If it's evening event then I will make an effect but for the day time ,I just like to not to look dead and washed out . That's how I have streamlined daytime make up to six items which can be applied in less than 10 minutes .Winner.

Rimmel wake up me up foundation - This is best foundation ever basically .Not like I've even tried crazy expensive brands .It basically takes you from zombie to alive in seconds .Simply ace stuff .

Rimmel stay matte powder - Confession ,sometimes I'm so lazy .I only use this ..

Collection 2000 primed and ready - I love primer ,I have read a lot of beauty blog who claim they don't use it .I need it! I had used much more expensive ones but guess what ? the £5.99 one is exactly the same! like whacking on polyfiller to fill in the cracks!

Mua bronzer - £1 bronzer for those cheekbones .Expect my cheekbones don't seem be at the same level? does anyone else have this problem?

Benefit sugarbomb - Stupid expensive but lasts for ever .Round and round those apples until I come to life .

mua mascara - I barely use this .I wear glasses who can see my eyes?!

And done! 

Where's my free stuff? Oh right yeah..

So it appears these days ,all you need to appear on a "celebrity " reality show is to be a tart . This years celebrity  big brother house-mate's include one Danica Thrall .Danica appeared on one programme a few months back ,in fact I actually felt compelled to blog about it back then HERE .She is what is apparently know as a rinser ,she "speaks " to men online and they buy her stuff . You read that correctly ,she only claims it involves having a nice chat .Hey if it's that easy ,sign me up! 

Now Danica is undoubtedly a very good looking young girl but the gifts she is asking and ultimately receiving ? There quite frankly ridiculous . What gives her the sheer audacity and why do these men do it ? I don't understand ,according to the woman her self they receive nothing but a little chat in return. Who would buy her a £167,000 pendant just for a chat ? Yes she is beautiful but lord there are million pretty girls out there .If that's easy why aren't they all doing? Truthfully It makes me really jealous that some girls can get away with this kind of crap . Danica fancies a new car ,computer or piece of jewellery some fool will just buy it for her . A link to her wishlist was posted online this week ,it makes interesting reading .As well asking and receiving the aforementioned pendant , Miss Thrall expects men to buy everything even down to her hair products ,nail polish and fake tan. I wonder how long she will keep this up ?  Then what ,will she have to sell all her presents to live ? Or will she have to take more drastic measures .Ultimately though,it's not going to end up like that for a girl like Danica ,eventually one of her rich admirers will be foolish enough to marry her. More fool him ,because she is nothing but gold digger that's clear too see .Beauty clouds judgement ,that's clear the world over.

If anyone out there would like to help out a poor ,unfortunate soul .I would like the following :

• £3000
• Any car .I don't care .Give me your old banger ,that'll do.
• Cosmetic dentistry 
• An new laptop that doesn't overheat to point it feels like it may burn my fingers!! 
• Some dry shampoo 

Unfortunately I look nothing like Danica , so I guess I will have go without these things and continue be poor and hope that one day I can afford to pay for these things myself .That's supposed to feel better isn't it ? 

Things I know now I'm older.

A little while ago, I wrote a blog post about the passage of time and suddenly realizing that you’ve grown up,without ever knowing in until it smacks you in the face one day. I tend to be a little bit (..) of a negative Nancy when it comes to getting older, I put this down to being content .If your content with your life, if you’ve achieved your dreams. If you have dream career, the husband the babies I can’t imagine that age is that scary. It’s when your lacking that times moves ridiculously faster .In the spirit of trying to move past the negative ,I’ve decided to look the positive aspects of being an “adult “as opposed to a “young adult “ surely there must be some?

Realizing that not everyone likes you (stop people pleasing)

It’s a fact of life that people will not like you .I tried so hard for years and years ,always being the doormat so people kept me as their friend .It does not  work ,some people are just not compatible with you. Others will take one look at all and decide they don’t like you. Those guys simply aren’t worth your time anyway .A prime example was ,when as a student I moved into a new house full of people who were already friends .Most of them were friendly enough to make some kind of effort ,but one particular girl was unfeasibly rude .She looked me up and down like something on her shoe ,she grilled me the first day of moving in with a game of twenty questions Clearly unsatisfied with my answers she never spoke word to me for the rest of the year .Even going as far ,as to have us both cooking our dinner in silence . She would write facebook statues about how alone she felt in the house when I was clearly downstairs . It’s a harsh fact of life but some people just aren’t very nice .So if your reading this Kendra ,your rudest person I’ve ever meet oh and you looked ridiculous in your gangsta girl get up. South Bristol is not Harlem . 

It’s not a crime to not have 28273282 friends

This connected to the first point . Choose your friends wisely ,if you’ve only got two but there good friends who care about you that’s what matters. Having 4565 acquaintances who probably wouldn’t piss on you ,if you were on fire doesn’t matter .

Fashion does not matter

O.K so I might be stretching it a little here .I obviously don’t wear clothes from 80s or 90s but neither am I slave to what’s apparently “on trend “ but quite frankly no body likes every trend going .Don’t wear it if you feel ridiculous just because it’s on a mannequin in Topshop : For example

Nice timeless dress .

Hideous .


Once your older no one cares about you dress like ,that is unless your a hipster in which case your probably an idiot anyway .

Hardly anyone (over 10 years old) is actually a size 8

Go to any clothes shop and see how many size 6s and 8s are on the rack .Dozens . Stop obsessing about being a particular size .Life is too short for starvation ,morbidly obese ? Yes bad ,actually enjoying food ? Not a problem . Oh and that Bmi stuff? Bollocks.

Credits cards are bad idea 

It's not free money and one day they want it back and they want it back now !!

Life is hideously short .

Take every  opportunity that comes your way .Take every job , feel your days with hobbies , go out every single night out you can . Shag every boy you want .You never get the chance to be young again , you never get chance of a re do or reset button .You have take life the first time round . Think about your life as photo album you'll show your grandchildren ,what are they going see? what did you do ? ( today to make yourself proud !!..)

Men are a strange species and you will NEVER work them out 

Men come from a different planet .One where not texting back for days is fine , having sex often but never speaking is fine .Trapping you in their room with nothing but a nickeback CD and a cheese sandwich is apparently fine. They don't get any easier to understand or any different .Sorry but it's true. You can't make them like you no matter how hard you try either.

Eating is NOT cheating 

A phrase touted about quite a bit .Not eating is a recipe to being carried out of a club ,or failing that forcibly kicked out by angry bouncers. Bloody eat something silly girls.

Learning does not stop at school or university 

People with no general knowledge outside of the national curriculum drive me mad . Read books ,watch interesting documentaries.Let it infiltrate your mind ,the world can be quite an interesting place .

........

I'm sure there are many others things I know now that I didn't know at 18 ,and there are many things I still haven't come to terms with at twenty six.

Just a funny.

Poor lad. 

TOP 10 Things to love about the London Olympics

1.) Becoming an armchair expert in sports, I had literally never watched before .What to know the scoring system for gymnastics or dressage. I will give you the low down. I am convinced I know difference between a good and bad pommel horse routine and a 10m platform dive that has gone wrong.

2.) Bert le clos, swimming dad .What a legend, so South African and so so proud .I am sure he will become a warm and fuzzy memory of the 2012 Olympics.

3.) Claire Balding. The best sport presenters around, never seizes to be interested and knowledgeable about everything .A woman who is seriously ace at her job. I find myself increasing frustrated with the sight of Gary Lineker of an evening, who should be the chained to the match of the day set and never let loose on sports he clearly has no clue about.

Claire meets Bert.

4.) The terribly posh British nature of many of the GB medals, dressage, rowing even shooting. Were a walking stereotype, all be it a golden one. Unfortunately they have not introduced slanging matches ,waitrose shopping trolley dash or competitive baby making to represent our other classes.

5.) The bizarre section of judge and officials at the athletics mainly consisting of what looks like a lot like dusty old scientists with enormous eyebrows. Check them out next your watching a field event.I almost missed Greg Rutherford's winning jump due to the Dennis Healey's on the judge.

6.) Being so incredibly proud for team GB that I have actually cried for people I have never and never will meet. Alan Campbell and his utter exhaustion having to be helped by Steve Redgrave after winning his bronze. Gemma Gibbons winning her silver meal in judo and countless other times have had me blubbing.

Gemma at the Judo .That French "girl" was fearsome.

7.)It's on from 9am to nearly midnight everyday. There is always something on TV! I have not watched a single other programme or film for ten days .I sense extremely bad withdrawal symptoms ,there better be some good stuff on when it finishes !

8.) The number of winning athletes singing the national anthem .Given that we live in 2012 and the national anthem isn’t a fixture at the cinema anymore (I am assured by my mother that this did happen at the end of every film!) .The national anthem is mainly reserved for Football matches, most of our surly love rats national players don’t bother.On a side note ,the fact that the GB football were fairly rubbish and received barely a mention.

9.) Convincing yourself for about ten minutes of everyday that you could be an athlete in four years, you will do it! Then discovering the pain, the dedication and agony it takes to be an gold medal winning athlete .One of my local radio stations interviewed the sister of Dani King, part of GB gold medal winning cycling team, she revealed that her sister's one treat a week while training was a nutrigrain bar! .As someone who pretends that pasta drowning in cheese sauce is healthy, I should probably stop kidding myself.

I hope that Dani ( L) gets a treat now she is a gold medallist !!

10.) Before the Olympics I was worried that Great Britain would show themselves up , “what if we win no Gold at all ? “ I said .The first few days were a little worrying ,we seemed to be losing everything and my fears crept up a bit .That is why the best thing about the Olympics so far as been the unprecedented simply amazing performance of team GB.Winning gold after gold , winning six gold’s on super Saturday was simply amazing. Even if we do not win another single medal, this Olympics has been outstanding. Finally a time when being British feeling pretty cool. .

{ Honourable mentions go to : Andy Murray cracking wimbledon voodoo and actually smiling,cyclists utter dominance ,Ian Thorpe being utterly no nonsense on the BBC ,Denise lewis going mental when Mo Farrah won gold ,Mo Farrah trying to lift this daughter who nearly his size }